We all create the culture we experience at work – everyday.
Every decision we make, every time we engage with someone, the way we react to good news, the way we react to bad news, the impact we create through our approach, our mood and our emotion.
Owning this can be HARD.
It’s easier to blame someone or something else for a ‘bad’ culture.
And it’s even more challenging to take responsibility for how we respond to other’s bad behaviour.
But my theory is – we OWN the bad behaviour we walk past. Here’s why..
If you’re anything like me, you’ll remember many times when you’ve witnessed bullying, unfair, unkind or even unethical behaviour at work and wished that you’d spoken up - but not felt able to.
I can think of several moments when I’ve squirmed at mean comments, or offensive banter, but felt unable to jump in.
And I’ve always regretted it.
One occasion really stands out in my mind. I was working with a new group of internal customers in a big company, and someone made a comment that was (subtly) homophobic. I already had a reputation as someone who would challenge nasty rhetoric... so I was concerned about being seen as a ‘loonie leftie’.
😑 So I stayed silent.
I allowed my concern to fit in to this new group to be more important than speaking up for what I believed was right.
Not acting swiftly and decisively in the moment left me feeling culpable, almost like an accomplice.
The fear of reprisal can silence us all, even when we want desperately to speak up.
From that moment on, I resolved to never allow my voice to be silenced in this way again. I realised that I own the behaviour I walk past. This mindset has helped me to find my voice, even when I fear reprisals.
Regardless of the values written in bold font on the beautiful corporate website, we all create our company culture and values through our behaviour every day.
This is especially relevant if you’re a leader, we are responsible for the work of our employees – and also for the environment that they create within our teams. It is a skill to be able to foster an environment where everyone feels comfortable to speak up, one that we can harbour within ourselves and encourage in others.
Cultivating a Speaking Up culture not only makes human sense, it makes commercial sense too.
A lack of speak up culture is what led to the VW emissions scandal, financial misreporting in Japan, sexual misconduct in Hollywood, the list goes on and on. When we speak up, we catch early missteps before they turn into full scale disasters.
To avoid these situations, we all have a responsibility to ensure that speaking up is an integral part of our workplace culture. This establishes clear boundaries about the behaviour we will tolerate:
“From calling out offensive language to intervening when a colleague is rude, openly expressing disapproval clearly communicates what isn’t acceptable”
Catherine A Sanderson, PhD, Professor, Speaker and Author
And this has a knock-on effect – every time we notice ‘bad’ behaviour, we won’t be alone. Speaking up not only makes the boundaries of workplace behaviour clear, but also encourages others to speak up.
I know this is not as easy as it sounds. Speaking up is often uncomfortable. It requires us to be vulnerable and courageous. There are so many reasons to stay silent... fear of embarrassment, exposure, being wrong, unintended consequences. But there will always be so many more beneficial reasons to use our voices.
Here are 4 practical tips to help you call out bad behaviour
- Invest in relationships and influence. It’s much easier to call out something uncomfortable when we already know like and trust the person involved – and when they know you. (So you can give yourself a break if it’s your first week in a new workplace). Read our Guide to building influence.
- Invest in your confidence – the greatest asset in any workplace. Read our guide to building confidence Guide to building confidence.
- Remember the rules of feedback - Read our Guide to giving feedback.
- Practice and learn some easy phrases that work for you and your style. For example, if someone says something unpleasant in a big meeting, I’ve learnt that I don’t necessarily need to be fully challenging in public – but that doesn’t mean I need to let something awful slide past. Simply and gently saying: “What do you mean by that?” or “I feel uncomfortable with what you just said, can we please discuss it one to one?,” becomes easy with practice, and it sends a powerful message to everyone in the room. Similarly, in a high banter environment where humour is valued, I have a few jokey responses that get the message across (I’ll share them in a DM if you message me!).
What have I missed? I’d love to hear your ideas
