‘If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together’
African proverb
What do we mean by influence?
Influence is not about authority such as the inherent power that comes from reporting lines and superior titles.
Hierarchical authority is very different to genuine influence.
Anyone can build influence and if you build influence before you have authority, you won’t need the power of authority, even when you have it.
Genuine influence is about someone actively choosing to listen to you, ask for your advice, spend time with you, follow your lead - not because they feel they have to, or because you’ve told them to (which is typically how hierarchy works) but because they WANT to.
So, is influence about generating ‘followers’?
No - in fact the best “networkers” or influence builders are good at what they do because they care. Making influential connections means building relationships that lead to real engagement, real relationships and reciprocated appreciation. It also means helping people connect with other people and extending your network through the recommendations of others.
You might think that to be influential you need to be centre stage, the main attraction, full of obvious charisma, the extravert that everyone knows. And we’ve all known influential people who show up like this naturally, but this ‘limelight’ behaviour is not a requirement for genuine influence.
Some of the most influential people are quietly influential.
I particularly remember a leader I worked with at Thomson Reuters. He was a quiet, softly spoken leader, he didn’t have an amazing presence, he was shy. He didn’t like the limelight and he was most comfortable 1-1 rather than on stage in front of a crowd. Yet he was so influential.
At his retirement party a few years ago, someone said ‘he was the person everyone wanted to work for, that he drew people to a cause, that people would do anything he asked, climb a mountain or swim an ocean, for no other reason than because if they knew, that if he was asking them to do it, it must be the right thing to do’.
This had nothing to do with his position, his stature or anything other than he had taken a lot of time to cultivate meaningful, genuine influence. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure he was no saint and he could be passionate and energetic, but that wasn’t his natural character. The fact is, he had taken the time to build trust through real relationships. His focus had always been on how he could add value, where he could make a difference by applying his expertise and through this he built trust, and with trust comes influence.
Trust takes time to build and so there is also no fast track to authentic influence. It takes time to cultivate and that’s why it’s so important to start as early as you can - it’s never too soon to start intentionally building your sphere of influence - this is simply about investing in your future success.
Why is building influence so important?
Influence matters more now than it ever has.
When I started work 30 years ago there was no internet, mobile phones, emails, Zoom or instant messages. We worked in a physical office with the people who were around us. Our colleagues looked and sounded similar, we shared a common background and we all worked for a boss who made most of the decisions.
All of this meant that we only had to worry about influencing a small number of people who were mostly available to us and that we knew and understood pretty well.
Today, we’re mobile, we’re global, we’re diverse, we’re connected, we’re distracted, we’re overloaded with information and many of us work in complex, matrixed organisations. Organisational structures are getting flatter and cross-company projects are commonplace.
We need to interact with many people to do our jobs well - people we might never meet in person and Coronavirus has only emphasised the nature of our virtual, networked world.
As a result of all of this change, we might have a lot more people we want to build influential relationships with, but that doesn’t mean it’s easier to do. In fact it’s probably harder. In person meetings have been replaced with tools like slack, messaging and Zoom, which might be efficient but don’t necessarily foster relationships.
Building influence remains critically important for one key reason; many things have changed over the years but this basic premise remains the same; Relationships are still what makes businesses work.
How can you spot if you need to work on your influence?
There are a number of ‘signals’ that might mean you could benefit from intentionally building more influence at work:
- You struggle to achieve buy in and have experienced opposition to projects or ideas which has surprised you
- Your network is made up of people you regularly work with and you can’t name people outside of this sphere in your organisation, or externally in your industry
- You value expertise and performance over relationships and this is reflected in how you spend your time
- You assume you need to ‘go it alone’ on most of your activities and projects and that’s how you’ve succeeded so far in your career
- You view leveraging relationships as a political or manipulative move
What do influential people have in common?
When I think of truly influential people I’ve met through my career they’ve had a few things in common:
They were real and it came across
I felt as if I knew them and understood what they were about. I could describe them, what they were good at, their values, how they showed up, what they cared about. This can really only be created by making an intentional choice about how you want to come across.
If you needed them, they were there to listen and advise
They had their own particular pet topics and causes of course, but they also took the time to understand other people’s - it wasn’t all about their agenda. These are the kinds of people who you’re happy to open up to, or ask for advice because you know that they genuinely care about your circumstances and want to be there to help.
They were known for their expertise
They had developed a specialism that they were known for and they offered this skill set for the greater good of the business and team. You knew how they could help you because they were clear on the value they could offer.
Things to remember if you’re keen to build your sphere of influence
- We don’t have control over anyone other than ourselves. This includes those who report to us, therefore authority cannot be the answer - influence is. The people who have the most influence over us, are those we have a genuine connection with. Relationships are built in terms of trust and influence, and not authority or control.
- It’s fun to collaborate and build our network! Let’s not forget that influence is about building connections - this is how we make friends and how we learn and grow. Many people are in careers that would not be anywhere near as valuable, if they didn’t have the connections that they’d made. It’s a great thing to be well connected, not just for our careers but also in our personal lives.
- ‘It’s not what you know, it’s who you know’ My Dad always said this to me when I was growing up and I never truly understood what he was saying, until I started working in a big corporate business. In the big companies that I worked for like NCR, Lloyds TSB, Thomson Reuters - I can testify that the way to get things done is through influence and strong relationships.
Some people call this politics - who knows who, who believes who, who follows who. But no matter what you call it, it’s how things get done. You need to know who to call when you need help - and it helps if they already know and like you when you need to make that call!
What are some immediate things you can do to start building influence?
- Be clear on who you are and what you want to be known for
Help other people understand who you are and where you can help. This is not about self-promotion, it’s about being clear on this yourself, rather than leaving it to others to work out how we can contribute. Thinking intentionally about how you come across and what we tell people about ourselves is included in the work you can do to craft your reputation - or personal brand. We have a free guide on how to get started on your personal brand, if you’d like a copy email me atThis email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and I’ll send it to you. - Set your intention on ‘Digging the Communal Well’
Think about the reasons that you want to build influence so that it is about the ‘greater good’ for everyone rather than any selfish, short-term motivation. This way you can ensure that you’re building genuine, lasting connections which will serve you very well when you do eventually have something to ask of your network when you need support.
Reid Hoffman, co-founder of LinkedIn, outlined four types of networking approaches often taken on LinkedIn - I think these are really useful when we think about how to build lasting and meaningful influence.
- “I’ll do something for you if you’ll do something for me.”
- “I’ll do something for you, but I’m keeping track of what you owe me.”
- “I’ll invest in this relationship, and I expect you to invest commensurately over time.”
- “I’ll invest in this relationship because it is the right thing to do.”
As Hoffman explains, the first three are calculated and transactional, they put you at the centre of the calculation, but no.4 is clearly built around “giving without expectation”. I believe that this approach is what really works in building influence through meaningful relationships, rather than thinking “what’s in it for me”.
- Commit the time to build influence
This does not happen unless you make it happen. I suggest you block out at least an hour every week to intentionally build influence as it takes time, and it will pay back as doors will open doors for you, that you didn’t even know were there.
We have a free, practical guide which outlines our Influence Radar - a practical framework you can use to build influence. To receive it, email me
The good news is that influence is a skill that can be learned and at Nkuzi Change we work with clients who are keen to develop these skills as they care about the quality of their relationships and their leadership.
We help organisations unlock the full potential of their people through coaching that is focused and directed, inclusive and scalable.
Learn more at www.nkuzichange.com
And connect with me and my co-Director Kate on LinkedIn: Kate Franklin and Elise Finn
